sunlight (warning: hate post at the end)

6pm: i boldly told my new favorite dev, "noel, i'm going to take advantage of the "calm" moment. i am leaving now to enjoy what's left of the sun. wish you a good evening!" to this, he wished me the same. i said thanks, grabbed my bag, and left! this is the life i've missed so much! i was planning to leave at 5:45 but i had to finish some more stuff.

i was practically skipping happily on my way home! when i stepped out of suntec, i was almost blinded by the sunlight! look at this first pic! these are real shadows! it's been a while since i last saw shadows while walking home. and it's the sun making these and not some bright artificial night light!!! so nice!

and look at the mighty sun! i did my best to be discreet, else i would have looked like some lunatic taking pictures of the... sun? hehe! i lab it! i savored every minute of it. i took the long walk to the mrt instead of riding the bus so the sun could kiss me just a little bit more before it sets.

and look at the lovely tabing-ilog! at night, this is just a dark walkway. i really think it looks lovely with the daylight on ;) there's a good breeze blowing and a very faint drizzle while i was walking. the estero didn't smell that good but i didn't care. this is my happy moment today.

... only to be spoiled by someone. i ended up doing someone else's chores at home. so much for going home early. i thought i'll have a relaxed night... i didn't.

i like responsible people. i therefore conclude, i hate irresponsible people. sorry for hating. but, that's it. i hate him. i hope these feelings will go away. Lord, help po...

pang live stream lang

courtesy of gma network, people around the world are able to witness the wake of cory in manila cathedral. i saw the link from facebook and i was happy to be a mere spectator at this event. people pay respect by queueing, saying a silent, brief prayer, making a sad glance at cory, and leaving. i wish i were there. i've always been "just" a spectator.

i was 6 years old when the people power revolution happened. i was just 6 years old. i recall my parents joined the rallies. i wish they took me with them at that time. of course, it wasn't safe, but still i wish that i have been a part of that history. instead, i was at home, the only memory i have is when the ground shook and our tv almost fell off when a bomb exploded in naia (then mia).

i was in college when edsa II materialized. students were flocking to edsa then. i asked mama's permission if i could go. she didn't allow me - she said it wasn't safe with all those tanks and guns and soldiers. i was more afraid of mama's sermon than all those violence and bombs combined. i didn't go. again, i was a mere spectator.

cory supported her husband in his dreams of making the philippines a better place to live in. she could have been selfish and kept him confined in a small radius of comfort zone. when ninoy died, cory left her household and children and served the country instead. she wasn't just satisfied by being a spectator.

funny how i am satisfied at being just that... watching live stream via the internet, reading news every morning, watching tv patrol and just making "grabe! ano ba yan?" side comments, frowning with every blow of shocking news. but where is the action, really? and what does it take to somehow make a contribution. i want to be a part of something worthwhile!

new life

this is it! natapos na rin sa wakas ang phase ng project namin na andun ang bulk ng trabaho. fine, na-extend kami ng 1 day. pero grabe, ang saya-saya ko. feeling ko kanina, kung ipagpapabukas pa ang sign-off nito, mamamatay na ako. walang halong biro.

pero ok na. so buhay pa ako! salamat! may mga araw na inaalat ka... pero naisip ko, grabeng kaalatan naman ito! maalat pa sa dead sea! pero ang mahalaga, natapos na rin. ibang yugto naman bukas. pero feeling ko, mas masaya na ang mga susunod na araw. wag lang sanang aalat pa sa pinakamaalat na araw nitong mga nakaraang linggo.

hay. siguro, makakakain na ako. siguro, hindi na ako magigising nang 6:00am na natatakot kung anong mangyayari sa trabaho. siguro, hindi na masyadong bibilis ang tibok ng puso ko. siguro, may panahon na akong chumika (nang konti). siguro makakauwi na ako nang maaga pa sa 8pm. siguro, this is a new life for me!

thank you, Lord at natapos din ito. ang galing galing mo talaga! love kita super! :) thank you kasi love mo rin ako. :)

baon

every friday night, we buy groceries that will sustain us for a week. we haven't mastered the art of estimating the just-right amount of food yet and as a result we throw away so much extra food. last friday, while loading the ref with the new supply, we threw around .25 kilos of chicken breast, some old tomato sauce (which, i figured could have been enough to make a simple pasta), a bowl of ginataang kalabasa and sitaw, and some more leftover food.

i was not happy about it. i know what all grandmoms and moms say: marami ang nagugutom. and this is so true. this is not the first time we threw away leftover food. at times, the amount is enough to feed a whole family. and to think the poorest of the poor eat only rice and salt (if they get lucky). and here we are throwing away what could have been a feast for another family's table.

throwing away food at the office is another story. my appetite easily gets affected by stress. as an effect, i find it difficult to swallow and finish my lunch. what could have fed 2 hungry children goes down the drain.

i know i'm already rotting in hell... to think i'm not even there yet!

as a resolution, kuya bought glass food containers so we could take packed lunch at the office. baon for tomorrow: tirang chicken pastel from yesterday and tirang sopas from today. i know i still have some frozen nilagang pork that could easily transform into tapa in the following nights, go into our baunans, and become a hearty lunch somehow.

we could not save the world with these simple gestures... but it's worth a try for now.

good night, world!

so inviting

so inviting!

if only i don't feel lazy

almost feels like summer

with the "summer breeze" coming from an old fan

i remember there's some ice cream somewhere in the ref

and there are frozen strawberries too

might be a good idea to make a yummy fruit shake!

go go go!

barenaked

my last dark purple nail polish is all chipped off. around 1cm of new nail has grown. what a repulsive sight. i tried to apply a platinum/peach nail polish on my own and it became even more repulsive. hehehe. because 1) i am not an expert and, literally, the colors came flying all around! 2) platinum/peach flatters only fair-skinned toes 3) maitim ang paa ko 4) at ako.

now this one's better. bare. naked. basic. toned down. missed this. i like.

wow

'm gonna be here for you baby

And I'll be a man of my own word

Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard

I wanna sleep with you forever

And I wanna die in your arms

In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm

(Chorus:)

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you

And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I wanna honor your mother

And I wanna learn from your paw

I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw

And I wanna stand out in a crowd for you

A man among men

I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

Chorus

We'll follow the rainbow

Wherever the four winds blow

And there'll be a new day

Comin' your way

I'm gonna be here for you from now on

This you know somehow

You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now

And I'm gonna make you a promise

If there's life after this

I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss

Mmm hummm

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you

And I'll earn your trust makin' memories of us

Ohhh

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you

And I'll win your trust makin memories of us

Mmmmm

Ohhhhhhhh Oh Baby Mmmmmmm

making memories of us

- keith urban -

... but is there such a man? hehehe